options.

went to the hospital today for connor's appointment with the doctor that did his throat surgery.

i was able to show him the video i took of how connor breathes right before a full blown suffocating episode.

he agrees it's bad and that we need to do something, sooner rather than later.

we really only have 2 options: a tongue reduction surgery, or a tracheotomy. 

we are going to try the tongue reduction surgery first.

i just have to figure out when to schedule it.  it's a major surgery, they will be removing about 1/3 of the base of his tongue, hopefully making it easier to breathe because right now his tongue keeps falling back into his airway.

i meet with his neuromuscular specialist (the one who prescribed the new medication) on the 24th, so i'll wait and schedule the surgery until sometime after that.

i remember last year, when we were talking about his breathing and ways to help it......and our options were to do the throat surgery again(sculpting and lasering and all that stuff he had done before), or our last ditch option was the tongue reduction surgery.

it seemed so far fetched, like a distant thought, one we'd never have to really consider.

......................

and now we're here.

not just considering it, but actually having to do it.

and our only other option left after this will be a trach.

which is something i guess i'll have to consider if it comes to it....but i'm not going to think about that unless it gets to that point.

thinking too far ahead is maddening, and a little frightening.

so i'll just stick to thinking about today, being grateful for my sweet boy, and that we still have options to choose from.

i love my beautiful boy.

<3