normal.

before we went to Illinois on vacation, connor had his blood drawn for a more sensitive micro-array DNA test.

i finally got a hold of his geneticist this week.

and the results were....

fine.

normal.

not abnormal.

sigh.

am i surprised?

no.

frustrated?

yes.

ready to give up?

um, no.

not ever.

it's just another test, another normal result.

with no sense of direction for us to be pointed in.

so i've scheduled another MRI, in 2 weeks.

this will hopefully at least give some clarity as to what is going on in regards to his brain atrophy.

is it still atrophying?

has it stabilized?

are certain areas shrinking more than others?

has something significant changed?

can it point us in some sort of direction?

anything?

these are questions i hope will be answered after the MRI.

these are questions that run through my brain and heart every single second of every single day.

along with a million others.

i just want to be able to do something for my beautiful boy.

i try not to think about the frustration of it all.

i would go completely mad.

i love my sweet boy.

he's so perfect.

<3

kindergarten shots....

my beautiful boy had to go in for his kindergarten shots today...

 i can't believe he's going to be going to kindergarten in less than a month!

how is this happening??

he's getting so big.

he's 44 inches long now.
pretty soon he'll be taller than me:)

i love him so much.

 he was really brave for his shots.

well, he always is.

didn't even flinch.

aubrey, on the other hand, was very nervous for her little Connie.

she kept telling him it would be alright, and that it wasn't going to hurt very much.

before we left for the doctor's office, she put on some shiny red lipstick just so she could give her brother kisses he could see.

<3

"it'll be ok, Connie."

and she was right.

it was ok.

i love my sweet babies so much.

even if they're growing up way too fast.

<3

the return of fancy pants picture time...

Happy Sunday!

it's been a while since we've had our fancy pants on...

but they're back on today, and our fancy pants picture time routine can resume!

my beautiful boy is looking extra beautiful today.

 he's had a few rough nights since we've been back.

his breathing is just not that great still.

and i think he really misses papa....

i feel you on that one, buddy.

:(

good thing his Sissy and i are here to cheer him up with our sweet kisses....

(it looks like he's trying to make a kissy face in this picture:)

and of course when aubrey and i get into a silly mood.....

there's no stopping us!

love my silly billy girl.

happy Sunday to you.

<3

photos from our Illinois trip...

we've been back from Illinois for almost a week now, and i miss being 'home'.

it's hard, because i like here home (utah), but i also really miss my home (illinois).

and i miss my dad.

and mom, and friends.

and lightening bugs.

:)

but at least i don't miss the humidity.

that's a huge plus for utah.

anyhoo, i have a bunch of pictures from our trip that i wanted to post so i don't forget.

so here they are.

these were from the Thank You BBQ we threw at my dad's house to thank everyone for supporting me and my sweet babies.....

<3

 as you can see, my beautiful boy took this opportunity to get in his beauty rest...

one of my best friend's in the world Sam and her little cutie Kruz.

 love you Samuel!

another best friend, Katie-Lu.

 i love and miss my friends.

this pretty little girl belongs to my other friends....she's so adorable.

my dad and his wife teresa.

they know how to throw an awesome party:)

while i was home i got together with Megan, who was my best friend in 3rd grade....we hadn't seen each other since she moved away about 20 years ago!!

 she was exactly the same as i remembered:)

that's her in the middle, with her little girl.

and another of my best friends, Ashley, is on the right.

it was so fun reminiscing:)

my tiny superhero, just chilling at papa's house.

my brother's family came to stay at papa's too, the last week we were there.

his little girls are adorable, and aubrey had a blast playing all sorts of things with them.

here they were pretending that aubrey, ramona, and mika disappeared and these were some other girls who were searching for them...

luckily, they all came back safe and sound.

:)

Papa and his Superboy.....

don't worry, papa's not asleep, he's just 'resting his eyes'.

one of the best things about being home this summer, by far, was getting to meet sweet little mabel....

 we went and saw her 3 times while we were there......

and i grew to love her so much more than you know.

she is so truly perfect.

so precious.

it's crazy to think i grew up just 30 minutes away from her mom, and we just now found each other.

i feel like we know each other so well.

kindred spirits.

just like connor and mabel.

they are so much alike.

both so beautiful.

so special.

so perfect.

 

 i'm pretty sure they were flirting with each other!

mabel is such a pretty little girl.

connor's a lucky guy:)

aubrey fell in love with her, too.

 she really wanted to hold her and play with her and love her before we had to leave.

aubrey also had a blast with mabel's brother and sister....

 they are such cute, amazing kids.

aubrey and nora became instant BFFs.

it really was so hard for me to say goodbye to mabel and her mom.

 mabel even grabbed ahold of connor's shirt....she was trying to make him stay!

 cutest friends ever.

this is my favorite picture of them.

<3

i miss that sweet little girl every day.

it was so amazing to be able to get to know her and her mom.

 i really feel like people are put in your life at certain times, for certain reasons.

and i know mabel and her mom were put in mine to help me.

i haven't felt so instantly connected to anyone, ever.

i love them.

<3

finally, some sweet sunset pictures, taken somewhere along the way back....in Nebraska i think.

a pretty ending to a perfect summer vacation.....

<3