Behind Blue Eyes....: i am grateful.

another week has passed, another Sunday is here.

and so here we are, in our fancy pants and ready for pictures...

we decided we wanted Super Connie to join us today...

he is our hero.

after church, aubrey and i drove straight to the cemetery.

we needed to visit our sweet boy's 'spot'.

we brought another little blue treasure to add to his collection.

i usually come here alone, i sit and talk to my beautiful little boy.

i tell him about his Sissy and what she's been up to. i fill him in on my life---my struggles and worries and triumphs. i ask for his advice, for his guidance. i remind him of his promise to look out for his sister, to help me take care of her in the best way possible.

i tell him how much i love him.

"you know how much mommy loves you, right?"

i cry because i miss him.

"mommy misses you, sweet boy.....soooo much."

i miss everything about him.

it's always nice to bring aubrey with me to the cemetery.

today was such a nice, warm day and as i watched my sweet girl run across the grass, her dress blowing in the wind, i felt such gratitude.

i am so grateful for my life and all the experiences that have brought me to this point, to this very spot in this very cemetery.

i miss my son.

i miss him every single moment of every single day.

i wish he were here in my arms, i wish more than anything i could be holding him and kissing his sweet face.

but he isn't here, and instead i am sitting at his graveside, left with only my memories and my faith and hope in the plan of my Heavenly Father, and the knowledge that i will see my baby again.

and i am grateful.

i am grateful for the 6 years i had the sweet privilege of caring for my beautiful boy.

i am grateful for the struggles and for the challenges and the hard times.

it makes the good ones all that sweeter.