conquering fears.

it's Sunday yet again.

it's been a busy week, full of birthday goodness and my very first 5k yesterday!

i put together "Team Angel Connie" with some of my best friends and we ran in honor of my sweet boy.

it was fun, and not nearly as scary or hard as i was imagining it to be.

i was nervous, but i'm glad i conquered my fear and went outside my comfort zone to do this race.

it meant so much to me to be able to do something like this for my beautiful little boy.

and having great friends and cheerleaders there to urge us along was the best part of it all.

i worked on making the capes all week, and thought of my sweet boy the entire time.

each time i drew another angel wing it hit me hard........my son is an angel.

he's an angel because he's not here with me anymore.

 he's not here with me anymore and now he's a beautiful little angel.

i just miss him so much!

i miss my beautiful little boy, my sweet angel.

i just miss him.

i start college in 10 days.

eeek!!!

i am beyond nervous for this.

i know it's a positive thing, and a step i need to take for mine and aubrey's future, but i'm scared.

i know i will probably be just fine and it will all turn out ok, but i can't help being anxious.

going to college, taking that step forward in my life, also means that life is moving forward......without my sweet boy.

and that's hard.

it's all just hard.

every day, every step forward i take in my life, takes me further away from the life i know, from the life i knew so well-----the life i loved---taking care of my beautiful boy.

i took care of my sweet boy's every single need, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, for 6 wonderful years.

and i loved it!

no matter what else happens in my life, no matter how many more beautiful or wonderful things transpire in my lifetime............i will always miss those years.

those 6 years will forever be something i ache for, long for, no matter what else happens.

i would have been perfectly happy taking care of my beautiful boy for the rest of my life, but that's not the plan Heavenly Father had for me.

oh, how i wish it was!! 

now i just need to move forward, in faith, and trust that i will be ok no matter what this "new" life brings me.

nothing will ever be the same, or as sweet or comforting as it once was, but i need to figure out how to live my best life anyway.

i am trying.

i am figuring it out minute by minute.

i have faith.

i miss my beautiful angel boy.

happy Sunday to you.

<3