tender mercies.

i thought i would take a break from my 'week before photos' and do a simple Sunday post.

happy Sunday.

...............

this week has been hard.

i just miss my sweet boy.

as i was sitting in church today, my lap, my arms, I just felt so empty without my beautiful boy.  and as i was listening to the talks given, i had a few thoughts.  i realized that whenever i was holding my sweet boy, or was near him----which was all the time----i felt such a peace and warmth and comfort because it was quite literally as if i was holding a piece of heaven.

my sweet boy was the closest thing to heaven i will ever feel or experience on this earth, in this life.  and i had it right there in my arms, on my lap, connected to me, physically, all the time.

and then it dawned on me, as i was sitting there, that i can still have that feeling.  i can still feel my sweet boy and feel that warmth and peace and comfort, i just can't feel it physically anymore.  i can't physically hold him on my lap or in my arms anymore to feel it, but i can still feel it.  it will take much more effort and diligence and faith on my part, but i can still feel all those things.

i know it will never compare to actually holding him in my arms.  i know there will always be that deep ache, that longing to just hold my sweet boy and kiss his little face.  but it is a comfort beyond measure to have the knowledge and assurance that i will be granted tender mercies from the Lord, that my beautiful boy will be with me in every sense but the physical.

this made me happy.

happy Sunday to you.

<3