i am trying.

it's Sunday, and we're happy because Papa is here:)

my dad came in for the weekend, but he has to leave early tomorrow morning to go give some speeches in Idaho for work.  it's always hard when it's such a quick trip.

i love my dad so much.

today has been especially hard.

today marks the '2 month' anniversary of my beautiful boy's death.

two months.

.....................................

two months seems like two years.

at least.

even aubrey told me it seems like it's been years.

it really does.

i took my dad to the cemetery after church today.

i still go almost every day.  i had to purposefully limit myself from going every single day.  i was starting to feel guilty if i couldn't make it and i know that's not a good thing.

i know my sweet boy wouldn't want me to feel that way either.

i'm trying.

i'm sad that my dad is leaving tomorrow.  he helps me so much.  i am working hard at helping myself, it's just so much better when he's here.

i really am trying, at so many aspects of my life.

i am trying to be a better person, a better friend, a better daughter, a better mom to aubrey, more loving towards myself.

i am trying.

today, i just really miss my sweet boy.

 i still can't understand how 2 months can feel like so much longer.

i am grateful for my dad, and for my sweet girl, and for my friends.

i am grateful that i am still trying, and that i have the desire to keep doing so.

i am grateful and i am trying.

happy Sunday.

<3