Behind Blue Eyes....: He is risen

it's Sunday.

Easter Sunday.

ahh, i miss my sweet boy!

every day, every holiday, everything i do----is a reminder that he isn't here anymore.

he's gone, and it's hard.

putting together only one Easter basket tears at my heart.

buying only one fancy pants Easter outfit is like a kick in the gut.

everything i do now is for only one.

oh how i wish it could be for two again!

but it can't, i know this.

and i am so grateful for the fact that i still have my sweet girl.

she blesses my life every second of the day. i could not do this without her.

and i am grateful that my beautiful boy is safe and celebrating this Easter in the presence of his Savior.

how wonderful would that be?

this year especially, i am so fully aware of what today really means.

"I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live." (John 11:35)

Christ died for us so that we may live again.

this brings such comfort to my soul, you have no idea. i have always believed this to be true, but never have i fully understood it until now.

"He is not here: for he has risen."

He has risen!

i know that my Savior lives and was resurrected and that through Him we can all be made perfect, and live again.

together.

i know that i will see my sweet boy again, and when that day comes he will be walking and talking, without limits or disabilities. he will be perfect, even more than i already knew him to be--- he will be perfected in Christ.

free from any physical pain or discomfort.

free from the limits his earthly body placed on him.

free from hurt and sadness and frustration.

free!

i am so grateful for the faith i have and for the peace it brings to my soul.

every day is hard without my beautiful boy.

every milestone and holiday is that much harder.

i choose to be hopeful, i choose to have faith.

every day i am making a choice to try. to try and make it through this life the best way i can, to be the best mom i can be to my sweet girl.

i miss my son.

i just do.

but i am trying so hard to trust in the knowledge i have that he is safe. he is no longer suffering or in pain.

he is free.

and he is near me, always.

i keep this knowledge safe in my heart, and use it to get me through the moments i feel like i can't go on. i have to go on. i have so much life to live, and even more to live for.

i will go on.

no matter how hard or impossible it seems.