his birthday.

today is special.

oh, but it's also so hard.

today is my beautiful boy's 7th birthday.

i almost wrote "he would have been 7 today"......

but that's just not true.

i will never say, "he would have been...."  because it's just not true.

my beautiful boy was perfect and special but he wasn't made to grow old in this world.

my sweet little boy had a divine purpose, one that he fulfilled with grace and pure beauty in his six short years.

he wouldn't have been seven, or eight, or nine......or anything else because his spirit wasn't meant for this world.  he possessed a light that came from somewhere far greater than this earth.

his beautifully imperfect body held on to his spirit for as long as it possibly could, he held on to this life far longer than was comfortable for him and for that i will be forever grateful.

i wanted him to hold on forever, if i could i would have never let him go.

i still want him back.

i still want my son back......if i could just hold him...

i understand though.

i understand that his mission here was complete and that i was blessed to have him as long as i did.

i understand all this......

but it still hurts.

i still miss him.

i just love him, i do.

today i celebrate his life.

i will remember his beauty and search for that light that is still there, the light that is still being radiated from his sweet spirit.

i love my son.

oh, how i miss my beautiful boy.

happy birthday, buddy-boo...

mommy misses you.

i love you so much.

<3