let's talk about sleep.   .................(*crickets churping*.......*crickets churping*)   hmmm.  seems i don't quite remember what this thing called sleep is.   i haven't slept more than 3 hours in a row for over 5 years now.  well maybe more since aubrey was only over a year old when connor was born.  so let's just say a long time.... when connor was a baby i was waking up the normal amount you do with an infant, but since he needs constant suctioning i still wake up every couple hours to suction my sweet boy.  if he goes 3 hours between wake up times then that's considered a good night.  some nights, especially lately it seems, he'll wake up every hour, or on his worst nights he seriously wakes up every 15-20 minutes.  what happens is he will either get his head in a position to where he can't breathe very well and start gasping for breath, or he'll produce too many secretions and start choking.  he'll cough and i'll go across the hall to his room and suction him (and i noticed the other night that i do this with my eyes closed----it's easier to try and fall back asleep if i don't open my eyes very much:)  and then he'll go back to sleep until the next time it happens again.  some people have asked me if i set a timer or how i know when to wake up, i don't set a timer because i don't know when he'll be coughing or choking. i just wake up when i hear him from across the hall.  and in his room i have a fan and a noise machine running so he can't hear me.  i noticed that any time i would move in my bed, he was waking up......we're on the same wavelength i guess ;)   
so that's my version of sleep.  i think i'm probably tired all the time, but i don't really notice anymore.  i suppose i have gotten used to it.  and that's fine with me.  taking care of my beautiful boy is something i feel privileged to get to do, day or any time of night.  <3