today i am tired.  taking care of a sick child along with taking care of connor is just a lot.  aubrey's feeling better so i think she's going back to school tomorrow, so that's good.  i'm glad she didn't get too terribly sick, but i didn't realize just how exhausting it is when you have a sick child.  i'm so used to taking care of connor, but adding extra to that is just a lot.  but i'm so very glad connor didn't catch croup from aubrey.  that would have just a bit too much for me to handle this week.

my mind has been so preoccupied with so many things lately......i'm frustrated about things in my life, i'm worried about aubrey being sick, and i'm worried about  connor all the time... i've been thinking/worrying so much about another little girl with a very rare progressive brain disease.  i think about her and feel for her mother.  my heart just aches for them.  i get so overwhelmed by the fact that MY SON IS UNDIAGNOSED and i don't seem to be doing anything about it!  every day that passes i feel like i'm missing something i could be doing, something i should be doing.   what can i be doing????????????????!!!!!!!

my mind is tired, probably more than anything else.  the only thing that helps put some of these things to rest is the knowledge that my Father in Heaven knows exactly what is happening and what is supposed to be happening. the only thing that brings peace to my soul is that i know my Savior knows exactly how i'm feeling and has felt it all too.  i know that everything will be okay, eventually.  and i know that i am blessed to have these problems because i will be made stronger because of them, if i can just get through them.  i want to be strong enough to be able to take care of the sweet spirit that is my son.  i can feel pureness in every part of his being.....he is perfect!  he is teaching me so much, i may just be a slow learner.  i only hope that i can be everything he needs me to be.  because i want that. i want to be enough for my kids.  i love them. <3