so i've been reading other blogs, mostly blogs of moms with children with rare diseases or  special needs.  i can't tell you enough how in awe i am of them.  i read their blogs and feel so much for them.....and i get very intimidated by how amazing they are and how awesome their blogs are!!  one of the reasons it took me so long to start a blog (besides not having the time or concentration) is that i wanted it to be awesome too, and every time i'd try to start it i'd get intimidated by all the other blogs i'd read and i'd quit.  finally i decided to just start writing because the most important thing to me is getting my memories down so i won't forget......i want to be able to go back and remember as much as i can about life with my beautiful boy and his sister.  i've felt more than once that it's something i need to do.

another reason i've wanted to start a blog is the thought that my life and connor's struggles might possibly be able to help someone else.  i don't know how, but i know that i get so much out of reading about other people's lives and how they handle their challenges, that maybe someone would find something useful out of ours.......and i may even provide some comic relief here and there, too. :)

my final reason for wanting to start a blog is that maybe someone will see it that might be able to help my sweet boy.  i've been to so many doctors and so many test have been done that i feel so.......stuck.  all the time i feel like i should be doing more, be doing something to help my son!  it's a petrifying feeling to feel like time is just passing you by and that you could be doing something (what though??!)  so it's my small hope that some random person may read this blog and see connor and read about his life and have one of those light bulb moments (i picture an actual light bulb turning on over someone's head) and say, "aha! i've got it! i know what this boy has!!"  that's my small hope.