Monday, January 13, 2014

last video of my Beautiful Boy...



i'm sharing this video mainly because i just want it on my blog so i can remember it, so it doesn't get lost or erased.
this is the very last video i have of my sweet boy alive.

i took this video at the hospital, December 21st, 2 days before my sweet baby boy passed away.  i knew it would be the last video i ever took....
my beautiful boy was very heavily sedated, on a ventilator.  but i know he could hear me, i know he was listening.  i just kept repeating the same things over and over, i desperately wanted him to know how much i loved him.  
mommy loves you sooooooo much. 
i felt like if i said it enough, if i kept repeating it then he would somehow understand.  i needed him to understand how much i loved him.  i needed him to know it, to feel it.
i know he did, but i still couldn't have said it enough.
i love him so much more than i could ever tell him.
i hope he knew that.
i believe he did.
i miss him.
<3

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