busy day today.   i've been going place to place since early this morning.  just got done at the dentist with aubrey, she did great:)   while we were there i was sitting with connor and the dental assistant started asking me questions about him, like a lot of people do.  it's my pleasure to talk about and try and explain my beautiful boy.  i appreciate all questions and don't get offended by comments.  but there's one feeling i always get when i'm describing my son to someone who's wondering what's going on with him for the first time----i always feel guilty that i haven't been able to figure out what he has yet.  i always get to a point in the conversation where people are shocked that no one has figured it out yet, and it's at this point where i feel like i need to hang my head because i feel like i should be able to tell them.  i feel like as his mother, i am letting them down because i can't give them the answers i've been searching for myself.  i always feel like they must think i'm not doing everything i could be, or that i have given up and that's why i don't know.  i feel like i need to tell them every test we've had done and every doctor and hospital i've taken him to so that they know i am doing everything i can and that i am still searching for answers.  and then i start to think, maybe i should be doing something more, maybe i'm not doing everything i could be.  WHAT ELSE CAN I BE DOING????   i just wish that i had more answers to give when i'm talking about my son.  i hope that one day i will.  for today, i am just glad to just be able to hold him and talk about him to anyone willing to listen.  i love my sweet boy. <3